God.. please forgive me..

Today,I'm a very stressed person in the world.

Yet all of the problems I had today happens & became even MORE worse.. because of my PMS. (?!?!???)
Yeah,PMS.
I must admit that this is the first time in my whole life,that I've been driving to mad because of a thing called PMS. (..oi.. nih anak ga punya urat malu apa,diumbar2kan sampe segitunya.. -_-;;)

Today seems like nightmare..
Every problem seems to gather together in me,just for this day.
For example,because of my PMS (oi,oi.. --;;),my usually-calm emotion gets wrecked devastatedly. I had bad mood all over this day,and my heart (MY HEART,because I'm not the type of person who scolds people easily) gets easily angry at some people in my class..

Even though I never want to,but it actually did.

Then,another "breaking news" actually happens.

My friend told me that our head teacher came inside our class when I was having lunch with my friends.. And that teacher said that--
FROM 58 PUPILS IN OUR CLASS,ONLY 2 PUPILS COULD RECEIVE THEIR SCHOOL REPORT.
THE REST OF THIS CLASS MUST ASK THEIR PARENTS TO WRITE A LETTER TO HIM,SAYING THAT THEIR PARENTS WILL PURSUE THESE PUPIL TO LEARN HARDER.

..wicked,isn't it??

I almost crying when I heard that.

Actually,besides that problem,I have another problem,too..
I have a disease..
Disease,that makes me want to scream as if I were completely mad.

This wrecked mood in my heart deteriorates me..
I kept this feeling in my heart,so suffering.

I wanna cry. I wanna weep. I want God to quickly take me into Heaven,so that I would never feel this problem anymore. NEVER.

Even Ms.Wendy,the teacher who starts to teach in my class in Australian Center Medan,whose behaviour attracts me from the first sight (??) couldn't help making my feelings better.

My heart bleeds. It seems that the Devil had completely invades my heart by this freaking PMS.

Until the moment I got back home (after went to the chemistry with my mum,to buy me some medicine),that's what I think..

Because somehow,my temperature starts to increase & makes me difficult to move,which -as I'd assumed- completes my suffer today.

And the pressure multiplies.. because even though I believe that I'm going to caught fever,I couldn't tell it to my mum.
She herself is also suffers with her previous-effect-caused-by-diarrhoea. Besides,on 24 May'10,I'm having my FINAL SCHOOL TEST,which completely urges me to keepattending my class,no matter how painful the suffer I had now.


..Jesus..

Jesus,where are You??

You said that You always accompany me wherever I go,'till the end of time..

If You really are here,watching me in this condition,please tel me that You're here..

The next thing I remembered was,I went downstairs,I read my Bible that's in my room,and after that I prayed..
I pray for God,so that He could completely forgive me from all of my sins that I've made..
I prayed for the safety of all the ones I love in my life..
and I also prayed for the recovery of the diseases I had right now.

Then,after I finished..
I suddenly wants to.. hold my Bible..

It may seems strange,but I know my heart isn't close enough to His presence yet,so I did it. I just hugged my Bible instead..
And something strange happens..

My tears starts to fell down..

I could feel His love surrounding me,the warmth of His love..
Yeah,the love that He had give me freely..
I cried while still holding my Bible..

Please forgive this sinful person,God..
Forgive me,and never let the Devil invades my heart anymore..
I'm sorry,Lord,for letting my heart filled with anger & hate all this day..
I surrender all into Your Hands,Jesus...


Soon after I opened my eyes & wiped my tears off,I feel much better.
Hope that His blessings lasts forever,including in your life too.. ^^
May God bless your life~ :D

~ 18 May'10